Letters to Sylvie
by TheCurlymop
Summary: Kitty writes a letter every year to Sylvie on her birthday starting on her first birthday in 1910
1. 1910

**A/N I had the idea that every day on Sylvie's birthday, Kitty would write her a letter. Each chapter will be a different year. This is something slightly different but I wanted to explore how Kitty felt about her daughter.**

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6th April 1910

Dear Sylvie

It's your first birthday today. I can hardly believe that it has been a year since I first held you in my arms. I remember you looked back at me with such intelligence even though the doctor assured me you couldn't see me. But you knew me. I was always the one who could calm you most easily, sing you to sleep when you wouldn't and make you bathe without screaming. Did you know you hated having baths when you were about 3 months old?

Anyway, I've decided to write this on the occasion of your first birthday so that hopefully, one day, maybe when you are 18, something which terrifies me, I'll be able to give you this letter and any others I write to you along the way so that you have a record of your childhood and proof that I always loved you and always will.

I feel I should tell you something about yourself and as you're right by me, it's not hard to find inspiration. You started walking last week, we knew it was going to happen and then when it did you looked so surprised. Now you happily walk between me and a chair but if you want to get somewhere quickly, you still crawl.

This afternoon we had cake and you enjoyed mashing it up on your plate though I don't think you ate much of it. It was a very nice sponge though and cook had iced it specially with your name on the top.

Your loving mother

Kitty Vincent

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**I chose the date 6th April as it's the date the first episode of Crimson Field aired and I wanted Sylvie to have a spring birthday. If anyone's interested, here's my working timeline, hopefully it works...**

**6****th**** April 1909 – Sylvia Vincent born**

**Summer 1913 – Kitty runs away with Sylvie**

**4****th**** August 1914 – war declared**

**Early July 1915 – VADs go out to France, first episode season 1**

**12****th**** October – Death of Edith Cavell, last episode season 1**


	2. 1911

6th April 1911

Dear Sylvie

I remembered doing this last year and I've just read over what I wrote. You're now 2 years old, a very independent soul who won't tolerate being helped to do anything! You love to explore and I'm always having to drag you away from the stairs, you don't seem to have realised how dangerous they could be. Half the time when you fall over we don't even know until it's bath time and all the bruises are revealed!

On the other hand you sit and listen to my stories for far longer than I expect, until even my imagination is beginning to run out of things to say.

For your birthday you wanted a castle so that you could play at being a princess like in the story I told you about the Princess Sylvie and her friend the dragon. We didn't manage a castle but I think you like your 'princess' dress. You're spinning around and around on the rug in your room and it's lucky you haven't had your cake yet.

I wonder if you'll remember this birthday?

Your loving mother

Kitty Vincent


	3. The Story

[Tucked into the envelope with the letter]

Once upon a time there was a Princess called Sylvie. She had long dark hair that came almost to her waist and little freckles on her nose. She liked singing and dancing and making up stories but most of all, she liked playing with her best friend Arthur. Now Arthur was a dragon but he wasn't the scary kind. Arthur was the gentlest friendliest dragon you've ever met. He and Sylvie would play for hours and hours and then when she got tired he would curl up and wrap a wing over her so that she was safe and warm.

Princess Sylvie lived in a big castle at the top of a tall tower. She had never been outside the castle because she didn't need to. She had Arthur and a huge library of books and lots of toys and games she could play. Just sometimes, she would look out from her bedroom window and wish she could play outside. The grass looked so lovely and green and there was a pond which might have fish in it or maybe a frog. There were beautiful roses that climbed up the walls of her tower but though they smelt lovely, there were thorns all over them and so she couldn't pick them. But outside in the garden, she knew there were lots of lovely flowers and surely not all of them could have thorns. Sometimes it rained in the garden and she liked looking out and seeing the ripples on the pond and hearing the rain patter on the leaves of the trees. She stuck her hands out of the window and imagined what it would be like to feel the rain pouring down on all of her. It seemed like it would be nice even if you got wet.

As Sylvie grew up, so did Arthur, for they were the same age. Though he was still a very gentle dragon, his growth did cause problems and he knocked over quite a lot of fragile things. One day though, Arthur didn't come up the stairs as normal and Sylvie was quite worried until she heard his voice outside her window.

'Look Sylvie! I can fly!' he said excitedly. 'I went out of the window downstairs and came to find you. I've only crashed once and it was a very ugly statue.'

Sylvie looked in awe at the sight of Arthur hovering by her window. He had never used his wings to fly, only occasionally she had seen him stretch them and now she saw how huge they had grown.

'Do you want to go outside Sylvie?' he asked.

'I can't, none of the doors open, you know that,' she replied.

'But you could climb out onto my back if you liked, I bet I could carry you down to see the flowers and the pond and the ugly statue I broke.'

Sylvie was a very brave girl and she really wanted to see the garden so she climbed out onto her windowsill and jumped onto Arthur's back, hoping he was strong enough to carry her. To her delight, they soared down and gently landed right by the pond.

From that day on, Arthur and Sylvie spent every day in the garden, even if it was just half an hour and Sylvie was happier than she'd ever been before.

THE END


	4. 1912

6th April 1912

Dearest Sylvie,

Today I'm writing two letters. You saw me writing my letter and when I explained what I was doing, you insisted that you got to write one too. Apparently it's silly to write letters when the person you're writing them to doesn't reply!

This year you still wanted a castle but it wasn't to be. I persuaded John the gardener to make a swing for you hanging from the bough of the apple tree and we've spent a happy afternoon trying it out. You insisted on pushing me like I pushed you which was very funny. More and more I can see my stubborn streak coming out in your words and actions and I hope that it doesn't get you into as much trouble as mine does. You're such a beautiful little girl and you wrap all the servants round your little finger. I have to admit, I'm hard pressed to say no to you at times. But normally you're a little angel and I have so much fun spending time with you. Your favourite story is still about the Princess and the dragon and I even heard you telling it to your teddy bear a few nights ago. I laughed so hard listening to you making the growly voice of the dragon.

And now my tradition is hopefully going to become our tradition as I help you write your first letter to me.

Your loving mother

Kitty Vincent

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6th April 1912

Dear Mummy

I have had a nice birthday this year. I think my favourite part was the swing because I could pretend to be flying on the dragon even though you wouldn't let me wave my arms so that I could have wings too. My princess dress is a little bit small but it is beautiful. I hope you tell me the dragon story tonight.

Love Sylvie

PS. Can I have a castle next year please? 

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**Just a short letter from Sylvie this time - she is only three after all! It's been lovely hearing what you think of this idea and I hope you continue reading and reviewing. And good luck to all of you who have exams!**


	5. 1913

6th April 1913

Dear Sylvie

I'm sat in the armchair and you're over at your desk. From here I can see the line of concentration between your brows and I think there's a hint of tongue poking out from behind your teeth as you write your letter to me. I've promised not to read it but as you are asking me how to spell every other word, I've got a pretty good idea of what you're writing.

We had a tea party today and your Uncle Francis came though he left after we cut the cake. It was your first tea party and you behaved perfectly, you even drank some tea though I don't think you liked it. Cook outdid herself on the cake and even your father put in an appearance which I think you appreciated.

You've been going round saying you wanted a castle for so long and I don't think you ever thought it would actually happen but Francis brought you a paper cut out one and it hadn't occurred to me that you would be happy with that. When you said castle, I thought of one that you could go in, not just one that you could make. We are going to make it tomorrow because I think we'll be stuck inside due to the rain. Now you're saying you want a dragon, then I suppose you'll be able to act out the whole story. It's still your favourite story and I made you another princess dress because the last one was getting quite ragged round the edges.

Now you're four, your father is talking about getting a governess for you but I'm really not sure. I had a lovely governess but I've heard such horrible stories about some of them and I don't see why I can't keep teaching you for a few more years. You can read very well and your writing is improving all the time. It's a shame your cousins don't live nearer so that you could spend more time with other children, that's the only thing I would wish for you.

A very happy birthday my darling.

Your loving mother

Kitty Vincent

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6th April 1913

Dear Mummy,

You promised you wouldn't read this so I hope you aren't.

Today we had a party and cake and Uncle Francis brought me a castle. Now I need a dragon. My princess dress is very beautiful and much nicer than the old one. I like the bows on the front and I have a bow in my hair to match. Father didn't notice but Uncle Francis called me the birthday princess and pretended to be my servant. The princess in the story doesn't have a servant though. I like Uncle Francis, he laughs more than Father does and he makes you smile. He doesn't shout at me when I take my shoes off either. They hurt.

Love Sylvie

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**So Uncle Francis... let's just say that the man Kitty ran away to was called Francis and leave it at that. Personally I don't think he was the man she had an affair with, I just think he made her feel safe. **

**Reviews as always are lovely :)**


	6. 1914

6th April 1914

Dearest Sylvie

Today all I can think of is you. I try not to think about you all the time though it's difficult because I usually end up crying. I'm determined to be happy for you today though. It's your fifth birthday and I'm so sorry I'm not there to be with you my darling. I wonder if you've remembered about the letters. It feels very strange that you're not in the room while I'm writing this.

Did you get your dragon? Do you still tell the story to your teddy bear? And I wonder if your princess dress still fits. I hope you had a birthday party, even if it was a small one.

I'm living with your grandmother and grandfather at the moment but I don't think I'll stay here for much longer. It's not much fun here without you to play with and make me smile. Do you remember the walk we went on last time we visited here? We went around the wood and got quite lost and I had to carry you home, asleep on my shoulder even though you were much too heavy for that. I went on that walk yesterday and found the glade in the middle of the trees. You liked running across the grass barefoot there and I worried that you'd stand on something sharp though you never did. When we finally got back you were so tired that you slept all the way through me putting you to bed and then you woke up starving in the middle of the night because you'd missed your supper!

I never thought that I wouldn't be there for each of your birthdays and now it seems that for the time being I won't be. I know that at the moment you probably don't really understand what has happened but I hope that in the future I can sit down with you and you will give me a chance to explain. Anyway my darling, I hope you have had a lovely day and that you know I am thinking about you and I miss you very much.

Your loving mother

Kitty Trevelyan

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6th April 1914

Dear Mummy

Alice says it's silly to write to you but it's my birthday and I'm allowed to do what I want. Today there was a party and Aunt Ella invited all the children that my cousins are friends with. I didn't know anyone but Alice and Freddie but we had nice cake and there were lots of presents. I didn't get a dragon though.

I've been practising my writing and now I can join up most of my letters. Miss Smith helps me do my sums and sometimes she tells stories but they're not as good as yours.

I miss you a lot mummy even though Aunt Ella says I shouldn't. She says you've gone away and you won't come back but I don't believe her. She lies about everything, she even told me that peas weren't vegetables but you always said that green food was vegetables so she must have been lying. She made me eat all my peas though and you would never have done that. I don't like living here but I don't know where you are so I can't come and find you.

Love Sylvie

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**Ok so I should probably say that every time I write one of these letters I basically make myself cry so I kind of hope it's having the same sort of effect on you? Children and mothers being separated are one of my all time horrors, I used to have nightmares about losing my mum one way or another when I was younger and it's still kind of painful to think about even at the grand old age of 20.**

**I'd love to know what you think so please consider leaving a review :)**


	7. 1915

6th April 1915

Dear Sylvie

I'm going on an adventure to France. I'm going to be a nurse and help all the soldiers get better so they can fight for England. I've just got to learn how to be a nurse but the lessons aren't very hard, I bet your lessons are much harder. I wonder if you have a governess now, like your father wanted?

As you're now six, I'm sure you're very grown up. It's hard for me to picture you nearly two years older than when I last saw you. I'll bet you're much taller and your hair is longer, maybe your plaits reach your waist by now!

I miss you my darling, I tell stories to my pillow sometimes but it's not the same as making you laugh with silly stories about dragons and princesses who are friends. I don't know where you're living but my one hope is that there are other children with you. That was my regret, that you didn't have any other children to keep you company and hopefully now you do.

I love you very much, please don't forget that.

Your loving mother

Kitty Trevelyan

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6th April 1915

Dear Mummy

Father said there was no reason to write to you because you were gone and I'd never see you again but I don't believe him. He wants me to call Mrs Fox 'Mother' but I'll never call her mummy. He's going to marry her but I thought he was married to you and you can't be married to more than one person. When they get married I might have to leave here and go and live with them but I don't want to. I didn't like living with Aunt Ella at first but now I've got used to it and Alice is nice most of the time. Freddie has gone away to school now so he's only here in the holidays and when he's here he's mostly nice and only pulls my hair if I'm talking too much.

We had cake today and Aunt Ella gave me a cardigan and Alice gave me a new hair ribbon but there wasn't a party like last year. Father brought Mrs Fox to visit a few weeks ago but he didn't bring a present. I think he'd forgotten it was my birthday soon. He spent a lot of time with Uncle Henry in his office and I think they were talking about the war. They sounded very serious but I couldn't listen for very long because Aunt Ella made me come and recite my poem to Mrs Fox.

I know you're still my mummy and I know you're thinking about me. I remember you telling me that you'd always be thinking about me before you left. I wish you were here, I miss you.

Love Sylvie

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**Poor Sylvie darling misses her mummy so much and I don't think anyone would really bother to explain things to her :(**


	8. 1916

6th April 1916

Dearest Sylvie

Happy 7th Birthday my darling

It seems very strange that I haven't seen you for more than two years. I saw your father quite a while ago on a matter of business and he told me that you were living with your Aunt Ella. I'm glad because that means that you're with her children and I hope that means you're not lonely. I know your father is getting married and I hope that she is nice. I wonder if you're staying with your aunt or going to live with your father and stepmother. I wonder if you ever got your dragon.

I think I've changed quite a lot since I last saw you Sylvie so I'm going to tell you a bit about what I'm doing now. I live in France in a tent with two other nurses (we're called VADs which means we're not very experienced and we don't have any authority). I live with Rosalie, who is very pretty and has red hair like you used to want when you were little and there's also Flora who is much younger than us and also very pretty. Our Matron is very strict but very fair and kind really and the Colonel, who is in charge of everything at the camp, is also very kind though I don't know him very well. I'm also friends with two of the captains, one reminds me very much of your Uncle Francis – he loves to joke around and makes up ridiculous stories but at the same time he cares a lot about people. The other has become very important to me and, well, you know that your father has got married again and it is very possible that I will too. His name is Thomas and he is very kind and caring and loves to hear stories about when you were little. I hope you won't mind but one evening when he wasn't feeling very well I told him our dragon story. I told him how important it was to us and he promised to guard the secret of the dragon very carefully and I know he will. I trust him Sylvie and hopefully, by the time you read this, you'll be of the age to understand how much that matters.

I miss you greatly my darling

Your loving mother

Kitty Trevelyan

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6th April 1916

Dear Mummy

Father and Mrs Fox got married so now I have to call her Mother. Luckily I don't live with them because I don't think she likes me very much. I have to go and spend whole days at their house though and they don't have any books or any toys and she doesn't like me looking at her ornaments so I get very bored. Sometimes she has other ladies visiting and I have to sit on a stool next to her and she strokes my hair and talks about how much she likes having a daughter. Father doesn't come to those tea parties and I don't see him very much at all. Mother says he's very busy at work just like he should be but Uncle Henry isn't like that. He likes being at home with Aunt Ella.

Alice and I have a new governess. Apparently Miss Smith wasn't very good at teaching us so now we have Miss Brown who is very strict and doesn't like me asking questions. You always used to like me asking questions but I've learnt to keep quiet. My hand aches from practising my letters because Miss Brown doesn't like my handwriting at all. She likes Alice though and I don't think her handwriting is any better than mine. I heard Aunt Ella telling Miss Brown that she should treat me just like Alice even though I was unfortunate and I'm not sure what she meant. I don't feel unfortunate. I even looked up the word in the big dictionary on the mantelpiece but it didn't tell me anything. Maybe she means because I'm not as pretty as Alice. I have dark hair and dark eyes and cook calls me the little gypsy because in the summer I like running around without shoes. Alice is pretty, she has golden hair and pale blue eyes and looks like the china doll that stands in the corner of the nursery and used to give me nightmares. I don't mean that Alice gives me nightmares, only the doll. It stares at me and I don't really like it.

For my birthday, Mother gave me a velvet dress which I don't really like but Aunt Ella told me I had to wear it. I also got a hat which digs into my head on one side and this morning when I wore it on our walk I got a headache but Aunt Ella says I'm being silly.

Tomorrow we're going to pick up Freddie because he's been expelled from school. He put a stinkbomb in his teacher's desk one too many times I think and he wasn't doing any work. So now he's going to have lessons with us. Maybe Miss Brown will be mean to him instead and forget about me.

I wish you were here mummy, Father said you'd gone far away and wouldn't come back but I don't believe him

Love Sylvie

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**Ok, so we're now officially past what has happened in series 1... so now I get to make up lots of lovely things and express all my future headcanons for Kitmas ;)**

**Reviews are made of rainbows and fairy dust and if you leave one you are wonderful. Also, good luck to any of you who are doing exams!**


	9. 1917

**Sorry for the wait my lovelies, thank you to those who messaged asking about this, exams are annoying things that get in the way but I hope you enjoy the update :)**

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6th April 1917

Dear Sylvie

I'm still in France, still nursing and still wishing I could see you. It's incredible that I've now spent more time away from you than I had with you. I keep worrying that I'm forgetting you and then thinking that you're probably not at all as I remember anyway.

I'm still with the nurses that I wrote about last time although we now have quite a few more. It was strange not being the new recruits anymore and having to show the ropes to other VADs. We've each got our own set of three that we're responsible for, Flora was very excited to be in charge of something for a change but Rosalie and I were less interested. I think we both just want to get on with the nursing and these new VADs seem very silly to us, though I suppose we seemed quite silly when we first arrived too. I remember that Flora had trouble making beds but now she's much better at it. I've had to teach mine how to make beds properly too, it's surprisingly hard to do it accurately if you've not been shown how. We all hope that this war will be over soon, it's going on for far longer than predicted and though I was so glad to have something to do, now I miss England almost as much as I miss you.

I'm now very good friends with Thomas and he has hinted at a proposal though I think I may have to tell him that I'm not going to say no to him as he still seems unsure that I feel the same way he does. He knows about my previous marriage, possibly more about it than you do really, you were so young and I hope you missed the worst of what your father did to me. But Thomas is good and I trust him and this long period where we're really not allowed to be much more than friends makes me so sure that I want more with him. With your father I was pushed into marriage so quickly, I don't think I spent more than 5 minutes alone with him before our wedding and after that I wasn't keen to prolong our conversations. Tom likes to hear about you my darling and he patiently lets me chatter on about you when I'm sure he'd much rather be talking about something else! I hope you meet each other someday, the two most important people in my life should meet.

There's not much else to say other than I hope you are happy and healthy and that you are still enjoying living with your cousins. Or yes, maybe you are with your Father and his new wife, in which case I hope you are happy there. Perhaps you even have the little brother or sister I so wanted to give you.

Your loving mother

Kitty Trevelyan

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6th April 1917

Dear Mummy

I moved to live with Father and Mother in September. The house is just as I remember it only it seems smaller and darker than before and the servants have changed. The reason I came to live here is that I have a new brother called Edward. He's very small and not very pretty but Mother says he's the prettiest baby she's ever seen and she gets very cross when I point out that his face is all squishy and that he doesn't look a bit like Father. Everyone has been to visit since he was born, I went to stay with Aunt Ella for a few weeks just before and then we all came back together to see him. Aunt Ella was instantly in love but Alice say she loves babies and wishes she could have more. Alice and Freddie agreed with me about Edward not looking like Father but we were careful not to say it in front of the grownups.

This year I didn't get any presents except a parcel from Aunt Ella. Father and Mother apologised once they realised why she'd sent a present to me but they didn't seem that interested really. I think that they've been so busy worrying and fussing over Edward that they'd forgotten about me. Aunt Ella sent a few of Alice's old dresses, one of which is very pretty and some handkerchiefs that she has embroidered with my initials. The dresses don't fit me very well but maybe if I eat a bit more then I won't be so skinny. That's what cook says anyway and I suppose she should know. She is very round and her face is always red from the heat of the kitchen. When Aunt Ella first saw me she was quite shocked because I've grown lots since she last saw me. I think she said something about looking like you but she muttered it so she could have said anything really. I don't think I look like you but it doesn't help that I only really remember your dark hair and eyes and that you looked sad. The painting of you that used to hang opposite Father's one had been taken down and now it's been replaced with one of Mother and Edward, Edward looking much nicer than he usually does. I know he's only a few months old but surely he should look less like a lump of unrisen dough by now. There isn't a portrait of me but I don't really mind. The mirror tells me I am lanky with lots of curly dark hair – coarse says Mother – and my face is too thin and I don't smile enough. When we go out shopping, people always look confused when Mother introduces me as her daughter. Recently though, she's started saying that I'm her step-daughter. She is blonde and fair-skinned and apparently a great beauty though I think she looks a bit like a horse. She dresses very glamorously though and has beautiful furs which she's very proud of. I don't think Father bought them for her, she had them when she was much younger because there's a photo of her wearing them on the piano which has to be dusted every day.

I overheard Mother and Father talking the other day and I know it's very bad to eavesdrop but I heard my name. I think they might be going to send me away to school which would be quite nice really, I've been living here for a while and it's been very boring. I don't have a governess because Father couldn't find one he liked, I think they were all scared of him and Mother. So I've just been here in this dark old house, mainly I've been exploring the library. I got into trouble with Father when he found me in there but since then I've got good at only going in when he's out of the house and I sneak books from the dustiest shelves so he doesn't notice I'm taking them. If I go away to school, maybe there will be a library where I'm allowed to read the books. It will probably be nicer than here anyway.

Love Sylvie

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**I think that anyone who married the evil lizard man wouldn't be very nice herself so that's why 'Mother' is so mean... as always, reviews are wonderful, receiving them even when I haven't been updating has made me want to come back and update even sooner :) **


	10. 1918

6th April 1918

Dear Sylvie

They've been saying that the war will soon be over for so many years but this year I really hope that it's true. The war might be over by the next time I write to you, I might even have seen you but somehow I don't think that's likely. This year has been harder than the past two here, mostly because Thomas finally got what he wanted and was sent up to a casualty clearing station. I miss him far more than I expected to and I'm worried about him as well, he's much closer to the front and so much more likely to get bombed or injured. I don't really want to think about it. Now I have my own man at the front, I can sympathise much more with some of the other VADs who are in this situation too. I used to think they were pathetic, why pin so much of your happiness on a man for heavens sake, but now there's Thomas and, well, I don't know quite what I'll do if he doesn't come back.

Anyway, having Thomas go has left me with quite a gap in my time, our work isn't quite as arduous as it used to be, what with there being more of us and so we've had to find things to do to fill our time, especially in the evenings. Rosalie, who has often played the piano in the evenings, received a book of piano duets and together she and Miles, and occasionally Flora, have been making their way through them. Rosalie plays beautifully but Miles and Flora do not and there are often groans of exasperation coming from everyone as the same bit is played over and over again. It's really very funny to listen to though and although Rosalie is a lady through and through, she can get quite annoyed and rude when her duet partner doesn't manage things. We also sing quite a lot, mostly hymns and the sentimental ballads that are being published at the moment.

I wanted you to learn the piano you know, by the time I left you, you could sing sweetly and generally in tune but nothing more. I liked to sing with you but as I never learnt to play anything more than a few chords, I couldn't start teaching you. I hope you did start learning, I think it's such a nice thing to be able to do. Rosalie says she started learning when she was six and she also learnt the cello and she says she's not bad, which of course means she's terribly good. Miles learnt because his sister did and he couldn't see why only she got to learn that when they both learnt to ride and shoot. He's quite good as long as he doesn't have to play a lot of chords and he tends to forget about sharps and flats so when he does play them accurately he lets out little cries of glee which then of course distract him from playing the next bit accurately!

So yes, with Tom gone I've been spending so much time with the others but it's still very strange without him. Did I tell you that he was there to welcome me when I got here? The shock of his eyes looking up into mine is my first clear memory of my arrival, everything else is such a blur. I think I was horribly rude to him but hopefully he's forgiven me. I realise this letter is quite Tom-centric but he's all I'm really thinking about at the moment. He gave me a ring you see. Nothing special, just a little sapphire which reminds me of his eyes. It's around my neck because I can't wear jewellery at work but I always have it with me. He said not to answer him until he came back but I couldn't do that so I sneaked a note into his pocket when he said goodbye to me. It only said yes but I hope he knows what I mean.

I wonder what has happened to you my darling. I haven't heard anything more from anyone about you even though I ask every time I write to my brother. He just ignores my questions and tells me about his very boring wife and children and terribly important job doing not very much. I never got on with him anyway but he's the only bit of my family who hasn't cut me off completely. Anyway, as always, I hope you are happy, more than anything in the world I hope you are happy.

Your loving mother

Kitty Trevelyan

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6th April 1918

Dear Mummy

I'm not really supposed to be writing this, letter writing time is on Sunday and we're only supposed to write one letter anyway. But I sneaked some writing paper out of my desk and I've only got a pencil so you won't be able to see how neat my writing is now. That's one of the things they said I needed to improve when I came here. That and my mathematics. I'm still not very good at multiplication but at least I can add and subtract quite well now. I tried to explain that none of my governesses taught me maths but they didn't care. I got put with the little ones and it's not much fun being the worst in a class of children two years younger than you. Still, my composition is very good even though Miss Elliott says that I have an overactive imagination and I should write more factually. She didn't like me writing about dragons, she says they're made up and silly but I know she's wrong. I didn't say so though, I learnt not to do that a long time ago. Still, school is better than Father's house. I didn't go home for Christmas because Father didn't send for me. He did send a guinea for me to spend on whatever I wanted but it got put into the poor jar so that I didn't 'spend it unwisely'. I wanted to buy some new gloves with it because my old ones have more holes in them than I can possibly darn. Miss Malone, the headmistress, says we should always mend our clothes because it's a useful skill and if we don't have anything to mend of our own, she has baskets of stockings and petticoats for us. I think she makes the holes herself just so there's always something for us to do.

The school is in a big old house in a town quite far from Father's house. There are twenty girls in my class and six little girls in the lower class. Miss Malone and her sister are in charge and then there are two mistresses who mainly look after the little ones. It's nicer here than home, partly because there are the other girls to talk to and play with. The food isn't so bad once you've got used to it being cold and as long as we wear two nightdresses and use the ratty old blankets, it's not too cold to sleep either. I'm learning a lot and there are lots more books in the library to read. I've even read some of the ones in French because I wanted to see if I could. My best friend is called Mary and she lives in India where her father is an officer in the army but she was sent here before the war started when she was very little. She doesn't remember much but she tells amazing stories that her ayah used to tell her. I told the other girls in my room about our dragon and also about you. Most of us don't have mothers which is why we've been sent away.

As it's my birthday, I'm hoping that Aunt Ella might have sent something but I won't get it til Sunday which is not only letter writing day but post day. Most of us don't get many letters and parcels are even more unusual but I'm still hopeful.

I miss you. I think that if you were still here, maybe I wouldn't have been sent away and also Mother and Edward wouldn't be living in our house. He's not any more interesting though he had grown quite fat the last time I saw him. So had she actually. Father made some very rude comments about it and I had to try very hard not to laugh for fear she would slap me.

Love Sylvie

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**Look! another update!**

**The piano duets story is based on me and my grandmother, she is Rosalie and I am Miles (I always fail to notice key signatures)**

**The school that Sylvie is at is partly based on the one in 'A Little Princess' so points to you if you spotted the resemblance. I also borrowed Mary the girl from India from 'The Secret Garden'... I loved reading school stories when I was younger, my favourite was probably 'What Katy Did Next' though I also loved the Chalet School books. Then I went to boarding school myself and sadly didn't have any adventures at all! Did/do you read school stories? Which ones? Leave a review and tell me :)**


	11. 1919

**That's right, we're past the war now!**

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6th April 1919

Dear Sylvie

The war is over! It's hard to remember that only 5 months ago, we were still at war when so much has changed. I did try to come and see you my little monkey, as soon as we came back to England but my brother was his usual unhelpful self and I'm afraid I didn't want to try to contact you through your father. The less I have to do with that man the better. I promise I shall keep trying to see you though, it's so hard to think of you being ten years old, I think of you as a taller version of your four year old self but of course you must have changed a lot. I have changed too, I hope you would still recognise me.

To start with, I, or should I say we, came back to England as soon as we could. After we got word of the armistice, nothing really changed. There was a huge influx of wounded soldiers on the days following, apparently hearing the news of the proposed armistice made both sides give one more push which caused us quite a lot of work. For a few days afterwards they were still coming in although their numbers dwindled quite quickly and the number of transports leaving for England increased dramatically. By Christmas there were only two wards still in operation and much of our work centred around packing everything up to be shipped back across the channel. Some of the VADs left quite quickly, I think they'd been summoned back as soon as the war was over but we, the original three, stayed on. The flu epidemic did hit us but most of the staff at least managed to avoid becoming ill, there has been some suggestion that because we were badly affected in the first wave of the illness, we were then immune to the second wave. As we were already quite a small hospital, very few patients were sent to us anyway so we escaped relatively unscathed.

One of the most important things happened at the start of December. Tom came back in the last week of November and on the 2nd, we got married. There didn't seem any point in waiting, all the people we wanted there were already with us, apart from you of course. Rosalie and Flora were my attendants and the Colonel gave me away. Miles was Tom's best man. Our congregation was made up of gently sobbing nurses and men who were determined to remain untouched by the emotion of the proceedings. The Chaplain made a lot of fuss but when he discovered that the Colonel had given his blessing, everything fell into place. In spite of the surroundings I think it was the second happiest day of my life. Can you guess what the happiest was?

I had to resign as a VAD before we could get married as serving nurses aren't supposed to be married but it was understood that I would remain there for as long as Tom did and it made sense for me to continue working unofficially during that time too. We came back to England in January and luckily Tom found work very quickly in the London General. He works very hard and I don't particularly like living in the city so we're hoping to move away quite soon. There's a medical practice in a small town in Dorset which is looking for a replacement doctor to take over from the retiring one and even if he doesn't get that position, as an ex-RAMC officer, he'll be very likely to find something soon. Maybe by next year, we'll have moved.

I am terribly bored here, even though I have plenty to do around the house and Flora recently came to live a few streets away so she often visits.

I think of you often my darling, I am terribly happy but I think I would overflow with joy if I heard from you. I miss you and I hope that you are happy too.

Your loving mother

Kitty Gillan

* * *

6th April 1919

Dear Mummy

I miss you. I went to Father's house for the summer but Mother has redecorated everything and it no longer looks anything like I remember. It felt like my memories of you had been stripped like the wallpaper in my room. I was only there for a few days, I don't even think my trunk was unpacked before I was sent away to Aunt Ella's. I was quite glad to go really, Mother and Father were arguing a lot and Edward's still very boring. At least Aunt Ella's nice and Freddie and Alice were alright too, they mostly ignored me but it was fine because Uncle Henry said I could spend as much time as I wanted in the library. It's not as good as Father's library but I still read a lot. When I came back to school, Miss Elliott couldn't believe all the new words I'd learnt but I think I've forgotten some of them now. I got bored with the fiction shelves and so I ended up reading books about gardening and about architecture as well. I impressed Uncle Henry by being able to identify all the plants in his prize flowerbed but then Alice called me a silly suck-up and made a horrible joke about me trying to steal her parents because I didn't have any of my own. She really isn't very nice any more in fact. Freddie told her to stop though so I still like him.

After the war ended, quite a few girls didn't come back after Christmas but other than that, nothing has changed. We hoped that the food might get better but actually I think it's worse. The custard is lumpier and the cakes have flour lumps in them and the rice pudding is completely solid. We still have to eat all of it, some of us have got very good at hiding food in our pockets instead of eating it but then, after a while, we are so hungry that we'll eat anything.

Not much has changed since last year really and I feel a bit silly writing this. I don't know if you'll ever read it. I miss you.

Love Sylvie

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**Yay for a kitmas wedding! I'm probably going to write a drabble of their actual wedding in more detail later on... **

**Reviews as always guarantee you my eternal adoration :)**


	12. 1920

6th April 1920

Dear Sylvie

I've got some wonderful news, I'm going to have a baby. We only found out a few weeks ago so I'm still trying to get used to the idea. Tom was incredibly worried because I was so tired and listless but that seems to have passed for the moment. I was like that when I had you too but stupidly I didn't link the two together. Tom is still worried and ridiculously overprotective but I suppose that's allowable. It's nicer than your father was anyway. He shut me away when he realised what was 'wrong' with me, sent me to the country house and stayed in the city. I think he only visited me twice in the whole of my pregnancy, he felt he'd done his duty and that I wasn't interesting once I'd fulfilled my purpose. And of course, he couldn't risk harming the child, he hoped you'd be a boy you see and then you weren't and he blamed me. Tom is different. He says he doesn't mind if it's a boy or a girl though I'm sure he secretly has a preference. I'm not sure what I hope for. Really I want a happy healthy baby just like you were. We have put off the idea of moving out of London for the moment unless something ideal comes up, I don't really want to be in a strange new place struggling to cope and at least, even though I don't much like London, our friends are here.

Flora is very excited about the baby, she has vowed she's going to be a wonderful godmother and Miles, who has joined Tom at the London will be godfather. He claims he doesn't like babies but Tom says he is excellent with the children he operates on, much better than Tom himself, he can coax a smile out of anyone I think.

Life goes on as normal here really. We've been to the opera and the ballet several times, though Tom is puzzled by both and I've seen a few people I knew from before the war. It's not been pleasant but being in London, I was bound to run into someone I knew. Everyone is very polite, I think the fact that I am married again possibly helps and I have a suspicion that most of society knew what Elliot was like, they just weren't going to say anything. But post-war London is different. All the men of my age and younger have disappeared and so there are many more women around. They work and they enjoy themselves and the new freedom that the war brought. Yes, it was a terrible thing but I still feel grateful for the chance it gave me. I hope that you also feel the benefit of this change.

You mustn't think that because I am having another child that I am replacing you. I think about you every day and being pregnant is only making me think of you more. I am still trying to persuade my brother to aid me in contacting you but he is being very unhelpful.

Your loving mother

Kitty Gillan

* * *

6th April 1920

Dear Mummy

Everything has barely changed a bit in two years now. I am still at the school and it's still just as it always has been. The only change has been that we have a new teacher, Miss Berwick, who is responsible for music and deportment. She is much younger than the other teachers and very lovely, she has red hair just like I always wanted and it's cut daringly short, we were quite shocked when we noticed. She says I show promise as a piano player but that it's too late for me to learn anything else, she plays the cello amazingly well, there was a concert for everyone to show what they had learnt this term and she played at the end and we were all silent for quite a few seconds before we applauded. I can play simple chords and tunes now and even sight read a bit but I don't like scales and exercises. Miss Berwick says that you have to do the exercises so that you can sight read accurately but they are very boring to do.

I went to Aunt Ella's for the summer again and while I was there I heard that you had got married again. There was a notice in the paper or something and Aunt and Uncle were talking about it. Alice says that it means that you don't love me or even remember me anymore, that you have a new family to replace the one you destroyed but I don't believe her. She was just repeating what she overheard from Aunt Ella and Uncle Henry and I know she doesn't always repeat things the right way. Anyway, if you got married again, Father did too and that didn't change how he felt about me. He still doesn't care much so I think that you haven't changed either. I hope not. I hope you are happy, maybe happier than you were when you were married to Father.

Miss Berwick has promised me that if I practise every day this week then she will give me a new piece so even though it is my birthday I am going to play my scales now.

Love Sylvie

[Torn out and folded with the letter]

Announcing the engagement and marriage of Katherine Gillan née Trevelyan to Captain Thomas Gillan of the RAMC

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**A wild update appeared! I really hope you'll forgive me for being rubbish at updating. My lovely friend Livvy came to visit and decided we needed to have a writing party and so you can thank her for this and future chapters. There are three more chapters to go so I hope you will continue to read to the end.**

**Reviews are lovely, come and let me know you're still reading, it'll make it so much easier to keep writing :)**


	13. 1921

6th April 1921

Dear Sylvie

You have a little sister called Evelyn. She was born just 4 days ago, early in the morning on the 2nd of April. She is a tiny little pink scrap at the moment and her father is terrified to hold her, I think he's convinced he's going to drop her. In contrast, her Uncle Miles and Aunt Flora argue over who gets to rock her to sleep so much that I am hardly allowed to see her. My world has narrowed to revolve around her and so consequently I haven't got much to say about anything else. I remember it being the same with you. I spent all my time in the nursery, so much so that Old Nurse almost threw me out when you were napping because all I wanted to do was hang over your crib and marvel at the perfection of your tiny fingernails and soft unmarked skin. Evelyn looks like you but within a few weeks, perhaps she won't. Tom declares that she looks just like me where I think she looks just like him. Given the fact that we look quite different to each other, it can be assumed that neither of us is right.

One strange thing did happen before your sister was born and that was that Rosalie wrote to me through Flora because she had lost our address. The letter took such a long time getting to us because Flora, the dear annoying thing, lost it among some papers. Apparently Rosalie encountered you in her brief spell as a teacher at a tiny school in Gloucestershire. She wrote that she was incredibly surprised to meet a girl who closely resembled me but then she was told what your name was and everything made sense. Apparently you are very stubborn and outspoken, qualities which would have convinced Rosalie that your were related to me even if she hadn't known your name but you are also kind and considerate and she said you were enjoying learning the piano and that she had enjoyed teaching you. She has moved on to work at a charity of some kind but it was wonderful to hear about you, even such a little bit.

The last piece of news is that my mother, your grandmother, died just before Christmas. I hadn't seen her for quite a few years now and we were never on wonderful terms but it was still a shock. I felt like she'd be around forever and then suddenly she wasn't. I didn't go to the funeral. She'd disowned me after all, I've still got the letter she sent as proof. She refused to help me find you or even to forgive me for the shame I brought on the family. I wonder if you had seen her more recently than me. She was always great friends with your father and they used to gang up on me. It sounds awful but I was almost glad to get the news. Now I know she can never forgive me so I will stop trying to gain her forgiveness.

I'm going to go and watch your sister sleep now. I hope you are having a lovely birthday and I hope you are still as happy as Rosalie said you were.

Your loving mother

Kitty Gillan

* * *

6th April 1921

Dear Mummy

Miss Berwick left after Christmas which was very sad, we all thought she was wonderful but apparently Miss Malone didn't. Miss Elliott has gone too so now we are mostly taught by the Misses Malone. There are fewer girls here too so we are all in one class, there is only one little one left so she just sits at the front and does her reading by herself. It's strange with so few of us left, the school is much quieter. There is more food though as I don't think they've remembered to change the order. It's still terrible but at least we get to eat as much as we want to.

I got the news that my grandmother died in a very strange letter from my Uncle. I didn't even know I had an Uncle other than Uncle Henry. I suppose I must have met him when I was very little but I can't remember you ever talking about having a brother. He said she died peacefully in her sleep and that she left me a few things which he has safe in a box for me and will send them wherever I want. It seems strange that she left things for me when I don't remember her at all. I think that we visited her when I was very young, I remember a garden and long walks and you carrying me home but that could have been anywhere I suppose.

I think I'm going to write back to Uncle John and tell him to send the box here and also ask him about you. If he's your brother then surely he must know more about you. Perhaps he has even seen you and has a message from you to give to me. Father wouldn't be pleased to hear about me doing that but it doesn't really matter because I only saw him at Christmas, long enough for him to comment that I'd grown again and it was going to cost him too much to buy me new clothes. I don't really mind, Aunt Ella still sends me cast offs sometimes anyway. I went there for summer and Christmas last year and I expect I will go there again next year. Mother never wanted me to come and live with them anyway and I heard Aunt Ella mutter something about Father living in London most of the time now anyway. They're not very nice people but I thought marriage was supposed to mean you spent time together. I hope you spend time with your husband. Does he know about me? I wish I could see you and meet him. It would be nice to know you were happy. Maybe Uncle John will tell me.

Love Sylvie

* * *

7th April 1921

Dear Uncle John

I was quite surprised to receive a letter from you as I didn't know you were my uncle. I was sorry to hear about my grandmother's death. Please would you send the box to my school at the address above. Also I was wondering if you knew anything about my mother.

Sylvia Vincent

* * *

14th April 1921

Dear Sylvia

Here is the box you requested. I'm afraid I cannot tell you anything about your mother as your father has forbidden me to speak of her. I hope you understand this.

John Trevelyan

* * *

**Look I wrote more! My friend picked Evelyn's gender, name and birthday so all praise Doctor Livvy for assisting at the birth of Kitty's daughter.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews last chapter, it would be great to get up to 40 reviews so please, I'd love to know what you think. Next update should be Monday/Tuesday :)**


	14. 1922

MP AND WIFE DIE IN CAR CRASH

Mr Elliot Vincent and his wife were found dead in their Austin 7 in a ditch by a local farmer. An inquiry is to be held. They leave behind a son who will go into the care of a relative.

* * *

[clearly written in a hurry]

30th March 1922

John,

After reading the news about Elliot's death in the paper, I think you can understand that I am worried about Sylvie. I'm her mother and now she doesn't have a father. Surely she must come to live with me now. They didn't even mention her. Please at least let me know that she's alright.

Kitty

* * *

6th April 1922

Dear Sylvie

Last week your father and his wife died in a car accident. We found out from the newspaper and while the article mentioned a son, they didn't mention you. I'm sure it was just an oversight on the part of the researcher. They're never very accurate, I know from experience that they like to make things much more dramatic than they are. I'm almost surprised that there was no mention of his previous scandalous marriage but perhaps they think everyone has forgotten that by now. I hope so.

We are all so on edge but we managed to celebrate Evelyn's first birthday all the same. There was a little party and Flora made a fairly inedible cake.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. For all I know, you loved your father and stepmother. I find it hard to believe that your father could ever be loveable but I suppose that his family loved him and he certainly had a different side to him when he dealt with you than when he dealt with me. I always saw it as disinterest but perhaps as you got older he became closer to you.

I've already written to my brother, I'm hoping that with Elliot's death, he'll finally tell me about you and perhaps even help me find you. It would be just like Elliot to prevent me from getting anywhere with persuading my brother to help me. He was so charming and persuasive he managed to turn my whole family away from me. I expect a reply from John any day now and I'm hoping it will be positive. I can't write much more now, everything is weighing down my mind and I can hear your sister crying in the other room.

Your loving mother

Kitty Gillan

* * *

6th April 1922

Dear Mummy

Last week Father died and so did his wife. I think I can call her that now because she never was my mother after all. Uncle Henry came to fetch me from school and he told me what had happened very slowly and seriously in Miss Malone's office. He handed me a handkerchief and seemed to think I should cry so I pretended to. It feels odd to be at their house at this time of year. There are lots of people around and next week the funeral will be held. Edward, who is after all only four, keeps being very babyish and crying a lot and though Aunt Ella is sympathetic, I can tell that all the grown-ups think he is badly behaved. Everyone says how brave and mature I'm being.

I think they've forgotten it's my birthday but I don't really mind. I don't know what's going to happen to either of us but I hope I don't have to go back to school. It would be nice to live somewhere else and not have to listen to Miss Malone dictating to us every morning. I think that now Father is dead I am going to try and write to Uncle John again. I've been re-reading his reply and there's something about it that makes me think he can tell me something about you. It's worth a try anyway. I have to go and pretend to be sad with my cousins now. We're not allowed to play outside or anything because we're in mourning. I don't like wearing only black, especially as it's not even my clothing, it's borrowed from somewhere and smells a bit funny.

Have you heard about Father's death? I think it was in the newspaper so I suppose you have. Maybe you'll come looking for me. I hope so.

It's not been a very fun birthday all in all but I don't really mind.

Love Sylvie

* * *

8th April 1922

Dear Uncle John

I know that you wrote that you couldn't tell me anything last time I asked but I was hoping that now father is dead, you could tell me. I want to know about my mother. Has she tried to contact me or ask about me?

Sylvia Vincent

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**Ooh drama llama! The last chapter will be posted on Friday so predictions in the reviews please! I'd love to know what you think and it would be great to get this up to 40 reviews by then :)**


	15. 1923

6th April 1923

Dear Sylvie

This is the first of your birthdays I've spent with you since you were four. You are now 14, almost a young lady and yet parts of you are still exactly as I remember. You've been living with us for at least 6 months though it feels like much more. I don't honestly remember how life was before you came to live here, you fit in so beautifully that no-one would ever know we had been separated. Of course, it took time for us to get used to each other again and I suppose that the reason for our reunion could have been nicer but I'm just so glad that my brother actually did something for me for once!

We celebrated Evelyn's birthday last week with a picnic in the park and today we're off to do that again for you. I'm up early because Evie started shrieking as the sun rose and I've only just got her back to sleep again. I thought I would take the time to write this now rather than rush it later when we're all bound to be exhausted.

I know we've had a few conversations about this already but I wanted to write this down so that you would remember it. I'm so glad that you were able to come to live with us, I'm so glad that I'm able to see you every day and kiss you goodnight in the evening. I'm so glad that you are happy to be here too. Most of all, I am glad that you and Tom have become such good friends. That was the only thing that worried me, you know, about you coming here. I worried that the two most important people in my life (well, Evie too but she doesn't have such definite opinions yet) wouldn't like each other, that I would have to choose between you. But you arrived and you had your suitcase of books and immediately I saw Tom's eyes light up. He was so worried too you see, he didn't think he'd have anything in common with you but then there you were and there was something you could talk about. I want you to know that he considers you as much his daughter as he does Evie. He will probably never tell you because that's just not how he does things but he does love you and so do I. One thing I hope you never forgot during our separation was that I loved you and I still do and always will.

Happy Birthday my darling

Your loving mother

Kitty Gillan

[Kitty folds the letter and places it in the drawer of her jewellery box with all the others. They will all go to Sylvie on her 16th birthday]

* * *

6th April 1923

Dear Mummy

We spent today at the park with everyone just like last week for Evie's birthday. I know you asked if I wanted to do something different but actually I liked doing the same thing we've done every time someone's had something to celebrate. We went to the park at Christmas even though it was freezing and again when Miles and Jane announced their engagement last month. It's traditional to go to the park and I'm glad I can be a part of that tradition.

I had a really lovely birthday, probably the best one I've ever had in fact. Aunt Ella sent a parcel as she always seems to but this time you've promised to re-make the dress in the newer style so I don't look like I'm wearing a hand-me-down. She always sends quite nice things but they're never quite in fashion…

We played cricket today and Tom and I batted together after I bowled Miles out. I'm pretty sure that he missed hitting it on purpose but the surprising thing was when the ball hit the stumps. That's the first time I've managed that and Tom claims it's because he's been coaching me every day. He and Miles were so horrified when I told them I didn't know how to play cricket, apparently the fact I went to a girls' school doesn't excuse me at all! It's fun playing cricket with them anyway and hopefully in a few years Evie will be able to join us because at the moment she gets in the way more than anything else.

It's strange to write this and know you are in the kitchen right now. I can hear Tom talking and you and Miles laughing and Elizabeth trying to make you all be a bit quieter because Evie's asleep and I'm supposed to be reading quietly before you come and turn my lights out in a few minutes. I'm putting this letter with all the others for the moment though I'm going to find another box for it soon. This letter doesn't belong with the others, this one is happy and new.

It's just occurred to me that I don't know if you wrote a letter for each of my birthdays. And I suppose you don't know that I wrote one either. I'll mention it tomorrow maybe but for now I can hear you coming up the stairs.

I had a good birthday, thank you.

Love Sylvie

[Sylvie just has time to slip the letter under her pillow before Kitty comes to kiss her goodnight]

* * *

**I'm posting this earlier because it turned out that I needed an epilogue of sorts. So that will be posted on Friday...**

**I hope you enjoyed, I've loved reading your reviews for the last chapter so I hope you leave one for this one too :)**


	16. Epilogue - 1925

6th April 1925

Dear Mummy,

Today we exchanged letters. I don't really know why I'm writing this, I think it's just a habit now. You cried when you read mine and Tom looked so worried that I had to say that he could read them too. He is more my father than the other one ever was anyway, even if I only call him Tom. I think he might have cried too and he gave me a long hug when he said goodnight tonight which is very unusual. You'd told me most of what was in your letters already but it was fun to read about you meeting Tom and the others and also about Miss Berwick, I never knew that was the Rosalie you and Flora talk about sometimes. She was really lovely so I hope she's happy in, was it, Northumberland?

You told me that you're writing letters for Evie too and I think that's a really good idea, I might join in as well. Hopefully they will never be as important to her because she'll actually have the memories of you too instead of just the letters. I'm putting yours in the drawer under my bed. It's where I keep all my important things and your letters are certainly that. You have mine now and I know you'll keep them safe. Who knows if I'll keep writing these, maybe you should expect another parcel of them when I turn thirty or something! But that's a long way away.

Love Sylvie

* * *

**Hello my friends! So this is the official ending of 'letters'. I've got a few ideas for things to write in this verse which I will post as a sort of companion fic to this one at some point. But for now, I hope you've enjoyed and if you've been reading but haven't yet left a review, please do, I'd love to know your thoughts :)**


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